大內秘事--低級

在古代英國亞瑟王，大法官非常仰慕王后美麗迷人的胸脯，但他知道猥褻王后的代价是死亡。他把自己的祕密告訴了亞瑟王的御醫。御醫答應幫他實現他的愿望，作為代价，大法官答應付給御醫一千金幣。

于是，御醫配制了一种癢癢水。一天，趁王后洗澡時，把癢癢水抹在了王后的胸罩上。王后穿上衣服后，感到胸脯奇癢難忍。亞瑟王急忙傳御醫給王后看病。御醫說這是一种怪病，要解癢，衹有用一個人的唾液，要讓這個人在王后的胸脯上舔四個小時。這個人便是大法官。

亞瑟王急傳大法官進宮為王后治病。御醫已經把解癢的葯放在了大法官的嘴里。于是，大法官終于實現了他長久以來的愿望，在王后美麗的胸脯上足足舔了四個小時。大法官過足了癮，王后的病也治好了。

大法官回到家里，御醫赶來向他索要報酬。大法官已經過了癮，而且知道御醫肯定不敢把事情的真相稟報國王，于是便想賴帳。御醫忿忿地离去，發誓要讓大法官付出代价。于是，他又配制了一些癢癢水。這天，他趁亞瑟王洗澡的時候，把癢癢水涂在了國王的內褲上。

第二天，亞瑟王又傳大法官進宮了...

Clinton Joke

by Bob Schlegel

After much arguing and deliberation, historians this week have come up with a phrase to describe the Clinton Era. It will be called: SEX BETWEEN THE BUSHES.

The Center for Disease Control in Atlanta announced that Clinton has proven that you can get sex from Aides.

Jennifer Flowers was asked if her relationship with Clinton was anything like Monica Lewinski's. She replied, "Close, but no cigar."

The FBI has coined a technical term for the stains found on Monica's dress: "Presidue."

Clinton now recruits interns from only four colleges: Moorhead, Oral Roberts, Ball State and Brigham Young.

Did you know that Clinton had asked to change the Democratic emblem from a donkey to a condom? It represents inflation, halts production, and gives you a false sense of security while you are being screwed.

Arkansas is very proud of Bill Clinton.  All these women coming forward, and not one is his sister!

Finally, Hillary Clinton recently went to a fortuneteller who intoned, "Prepare to become a widow. Your husband will soon suffer a violent death!"
Hillary took a deep breath and asked, "Will I be acquitted?"

Bush & Powell Joke

Bush and Powell are sitting in a bar.
A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Bush and Powell?"
The barman says, "Yep, that's them."

So the guy walks over and says, "Hello, what are you guys doing?"
And Bush says, "We're planning world war"
And the guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
And Bush says, "Well, we're going to kill 10 million Afghans and one bicycle repairman."
And the guy exclaimed, "Why are you gonna kill a bicycle repairman?!!!"

So Bush turns to Powell and says, "See, I told you no one would worry about the 10 million Afghans!"

Two Tough Questions

Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis; would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before scrolling down to the answer of this one.

Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates:

Candidate A: Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B: He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whisky every evening.

Candidate C: He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and hasn't had any extramarital affairs.

Which of these candidates would be your choice?

Decide first, no peeking, then scroll down for the answer.

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Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt
Candidate B is Winston Churchill
Candidate C is Adolph Hitler

And by the way, the answer to the abortion question: If you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.